Conversation is becoming a lost art. K-City

In the final segment of Reflecting Together, which we call “Rapid Character Invesigation” (RCI) the women and the men circle their chairs and have a series of one to one discussions.   And because of this similarity we are asked whether we are doing Speed Dating.  

While speed dating can be fun and has a spiritual origin in another religious community, the point to “Reflecting Together” is not necessarily to meet someone you would marry.   As well, speed dating can be a superficial experience, where members make very quick judgements on another person’s appearance or how well they can “deliver” & “present” themselves.

RCI is primarily a chance to practice your skills in communicating, listening, and looking at other people for who they really are.  These skills, vital to all our relationships, are fostered with discussion and feedback.  A secondary goal of the workshop is to get to know a number of people at  deeper level, so strengthen the network of connections in the community.  The ultimate goal is to create a safe place within a community where healthy relationships and friendships can form.  

Reflecting Together spends most of its time in small group discussion of character traits desired in a lifetime partner.  In discussion with other people, the focus is on listening skills where participants consider together how to get more out of interactions with another. 

The RCI has specific steps that the participants follow with the result of having short, but meaningful conversations.  It is the beginning of a possible relationship, in that participants can choose to meet with one another again in a social setting and know each other better.  

Reflecting Together is a practical application of an evening of reflection and discussion which considers how to find meaningful positive qualities in other people.  Finally it facilitates meaningful, personal interchanges even in large events where it can be more difficult to move beyond surface conversations.